Saturday 18 July 2015

Notes from the wide open space

I've just come back from a beautiful and challenging retreat in Portugal.

Beautiful because it contained many experiences of remembering who I really am, and challenging because there were many times when I forgot, and even more painfully times when knew that I had forgotten but was not able to let go and return to knowing my true self.

I offer 3 short poems that speak to the remembering.

~

I am the space
And everything that arises
in the space.

But first, I am the space.

~

To cherish myself
is to cherish
the wide open space
and the tender appearance
that is just now
arising out of it.

~

So there is nothing to do
Any doing
takes me away
from resting in
who I am.

Surrender.  Bow down.  Love.

~

Friday 9 January 2015

It's the not feeling the feelings

It's the not feeling the feelings
that is intolerable.
(Or at least seems to be).

Sitting in my place on the sofa
staring out the window
I'm somewhat aware of what feels like
fear in the background,
and vaguely aware of pushing it away.

The thought arises:
"This is horrible, I am unhappy,
I can't live like this".
And with it the imagination that this
low-level torture
will continue forever.

Then...
I actually feel the feelings...

...and there is soft sweet sadness
and I can see the wintery trees swaying gently
and I'm touched by both.

And it's really okay.
It's better than okay - it's really touching.

And it's completely bearable
to feel the feelings.

And if this sadness, this touchedness
continued this way forever
that would be fine by me.